(Edited by Divya Jain)
How many times in your life have you acted according to your wish?
1, 2, 3, or maybe many times.
Were you happy about it? Yes, definitely!
Did you always succeed? If yes, that’s amazing but, if no, did you stop doing what you loved? Or are you still trying?
What is the last thing you remember doing that you loved?
You might answer the last question as you ate your favorite food, or you traveled somewhere you wanted to, or you were chilling around with your friends or maybe alone anything, and so on.
But those are not the choices I am trying to imply when asking you that question. What I am trying to ask is about your life choices.
Are you doing your dream job?
Are you studying what you wanted to?
Are you living your life the way you want to?
And most importantly!!!!
Are you happy with your life?
Yes?
No?
We, humans, crave affection, appreciation, and acceptance. As a result of this craving, we live our lives to the expectations of others. We love to be appreciated by others. Be it for our talents, our nature, our personality, or our looks.
Appreciation gives us self-confidence. When we are not appreciated for something we do, we develop self-doubts. We stop doing things we love because we start feeling that it is not good enough and will be a waste of time and energy. We start living our life the way it fits society's expectations, and in this process, we lose ourselves and become someone we are not.
But the truth is whatever we are doing are the dreams of many. Not everyone can do what you are doing right at this moment. Remember, there can never be a comparison between two people. Everyone has their unique talent and, they should work according to their talent and do what they like, not what others want them to do. You are one of a kind.
Ask yourself -
Do other opinions matter when you are doing something you love and are happy doing it?
Are you okay with losing yourself in the process of impressing others?
Let me share a life instance with you:-
Since childhood, I have been a silent kid. I always tried to live up to others' expectations as I was scared of doing what I liked. I tried my best to make my parents proud, did everything they wanted me to, and went with the flow. But in this process, I lost my confidence, and my self-esteem and started thinking I can never do something appreciable or worth mentioning.
For once, I acted on my will. I have been told that I am not even trying hard. If I try harder, I can do better but, the truth is I did try my best, I did everything I could; it just did not work out for me. Yes, I failed and, this demotivated me. I wanted to stop doing everything I ever liked and start doing what others wanted me to do.
But after this, I learned that it is okay to fail, as it helps you learn about yourself, know what you like, what you are good at, and what you want to do. It builds a new path for you.
Eventually, I started doing something I always wanted i.e to write. I stopped trying to impress others, and did what I thought was good for me. Now I am getting more confident about it every day, and, most importantly, I am happy with whatever I am doing.
There is a quote – “If it makes you happy, it doesn't have to make sense to others. It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. People who work to satisfy others never succeed.”-Anonymous
Also, Thoreau in the first chapter of his book “Walden” said –
“In most books, the I, or first person is omitted and, in his book, it will be retained”
“He tells us to focus on the first-person i.e I (me, you). It is I that knows about me (I, you). It is me that is best aware of myself and not any other self. Everything we do in life be it adventure, travel or something we like should be related to I (you, me). I am the best subject of my study and if I want to bring a change in society or change the environment then I have to start with myself”.
“Start to take care of yourself first and then think about others” [1]
Some ways how you can be yourself:-
1. Stop overthinking – Overthinking leads you to think that you are being judged, when that is not the case. Recognize your overthinking and replace it with positive thoughts.
2. Opinions change- Remember that opinions change with changing circumstances. So, never allow other opinions to get too deep into your mind.
3. As you sow, so shall you reap! – What goes around comes around!! If you worry too much about other opinions, it might turn into reality.
4. Have your perspective- Be who you want to be from your perspective. Others' opinion is based on their beliefs, not yours. And others' beliefs will not help you.
Lastly, do remember that -
There will be many instances in your life where you will be ridiculed for what you did, people will disagree with you, mock you, and only tear you apart.
It is the nature of some people to pull others down to fulfill their fetish. You can never please everyone. No matter how hard you try, there will always be a person who will not be satisfied with what you are doing and criticize you.
The moment you stop caring what other people think about you is the moment you set yourself free. Don’t be a boring replica of someone else. Be bold and unique.
Life is too short to worry about others' opinions. Be the guide of your life.
Don’t let others guide your life.
Fulfill every desire of yours.
Whether you pass or fail doesn’t matter until you are happy doing it.
Live your life unapologetically and refuse to fit in.
“Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” - Tina Fey
“No matter how many people like you and your work, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like yourself.” - Cara Delevingne
Comments