( Edited by Divya Jain )
It hurts a lot when you are not appreciated for your work. Just think about it. You put
a lot of effort and time into a task to complete it and no one even praises you. Now think if the task you are doing, is for a friend or a companion, painstakingly, you do it and in return, you don’t even get a 'thank you.'
No one tries to help someone while keeping the reward or gratitude in mind. But I think it’s a common courtesy to at least be thankful if helped by someone else. I remember sometimes ago, a beggar came to our house asking for some money. My mother, who usually donates, gave the beggar some money. At that time, we had two buckets, one big and one small, which were kept on our veranda. The beggar asked my mother to give him the bigger bucket. My mother refused and instead offered to give him the smaller one. The beggar declined to take the small one and kept pestering us for the bigger bucket. When he didn’t get what he wanted, he left after saying some harsh words to us.
It was during that time that I realized the harshness and ungratefulness of people. No matter what you do for others, there would still be people who won’t appreciate what you did for them, but instead, make you remember what you didn’t. Since then, I mostly try to help only those people:
Who can do the same for me
I am not asking anyone to give me a gift or money for my help (Well, I won’t refuse if they do so). What I am asking from them is to at least be ready to help me if I need it in the future. Because I know for a fact, that if someone is willing to help another person in a time of need, he respects their relationship and wants to keep it.
Who appreciates me and my work?
I think it’s a common courtesy to at least say thank you to someone if they have helped you in some form or another. It both livens up your mood and motivates you to do better the next time. Honestly, it feels pretty good and refreshing to hear someone say nice things about you.
People like that beggar are the ones who you should 100% avoid helping.
Many times people help others just to impress them, It may be to win over a girl, win over your employer, or for any other reason. If you are one of these people, then I sincerely advise you to stop.
There is no guarantee that the girl or boy you are trying to impress will be interested in you, the same is with other people. Not only are you wasting your precious time, but also you're risking your mental health for someone who just won’t appreciate your efforts.
Not being appreciated is still better than hearing ‘Did I tell you to do all that for me’.
Sometimes a responsibility or a task is shoved at you. You reluctantly accept it because the person who gave it to you is probably someone close to you. You put your all into the work and complete it.
In return, the person doesn’t even show his gratitude to you. These are the times when people take you for granted and these are the times when you have to step up for yourself. If you are not getting the respect you deserve, refuse to help them the next time they ask for your help. Know your worth. And act according to it.
Helping others is a noble deed indeed. A simple act of kindness can bring joy to both you and the one receiving it. But not every situation and person is the same. Some people try to use you for their benefit. Situations like these are the ones that test you. Are you ready to give your effort and time to someone who won’t even appreciate you or are you ready to stand up for yourself and refuse to help?
The decision is yours.
You can either choose your relationship or your happiness and dignity.
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